wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
