Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I love you.
Bad choice
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
