and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
