i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
