respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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