we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
