Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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