as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
it was like eating out sand paper
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Randomize
