So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
