Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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