it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
And then he peed in my hair
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
