I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
