Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
two words...techno handjob
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
