whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
