he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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