You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
