No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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