I don't think brook has ever known best
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
