You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
