The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
