just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize