my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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