'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
