Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
