there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Randomize