And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
