I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize