I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
