I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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