well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
