i just wanna soil my oats bro
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
