jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
North Korea, Best Korea!
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize