I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
