just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
