don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
