Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
