Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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