after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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