"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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