That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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