i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
