just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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