I think i peed on brittanys purse
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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