Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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