i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
not ubering you a puppy
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
