i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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