Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
