does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
