it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I can't turn off my feet"
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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