do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
