My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
