worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Drake has all the answers
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
