I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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