Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
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