The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize