so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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