You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
