You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
