Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize