Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
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