try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
