Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
