Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
