Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize