i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize