I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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