and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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