Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
