that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
