Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
i think im in europe. pls send help
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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