yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
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