you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
